Toothaches will make you lose your religion!

I have had a toothache for the last day and 1/2. 
I have a been a hot miserable mess.
The pain is excruciating. 
I've tried everything from Tylenol to Vicodin & I've gone through two tubes of max. strength Orajel, and NADA, NOTHING. 


Went to a dentist this morning. He will remain nameless. After all, the intent of this post is not to trash talk anyone, just to vent. 
So anyway, long story short, tells me tooth is good just need a root canal. OK fair nuff.       
*Enter financial girl*  "Good news your dental ins is covering half but you will owe us $$$$$$."
Nursy say whaaa??? I owe whaaaa??? *Pause for bad language* 
**Enter dentist guy** "Well for those who want to save money, we can just pull the whole tooth out" 
Me: "UHM, Peace OUT dental exterminator dude" 


So in about 30 mins I'll be visiting yet another dentist. One whose office assistant has assured me should not be a horrific experience as I previously had and will take "good care of me". 
Hmmmm, we shall see about that. 


Today I'm going to take a brief break from being christiany and nice. 
The toothache has provoked me to be mean, attitudy, and just plain pooey. 
It's not really me though. It's the tooth. It's the PAIN. 
I'm really truly a good person.
Just not today.


Is this right? Prolly not. 
Do I care?? Not at the moment.
Current pain level: 15+ and then some

So I know I've been M.I.A.  But only briefly.

I'm back now. After a very interesting, atypical, & in the end extraordinary couple of weeks.

After going through a period of utter confusion & mental chaos, a lot of arguing back & forth with God,  having a large dose of double drama in my house, & ultimately finding myself laying flat on my face saying "OK God, You have my attention", I learned a few valuable life lessons:

1) Never....NEVER invite family (especially mothers & mother-in-laws) to come live with you, your husband & 3 kids. There's no such thing as "temporary". "Temporary" turns into permanently and that, sooner or later, equals trouble. 

Thankfully, my family live in problem will be solved in a couple of weeks, when they move into their own apartment & I will then run around my house in all my giddiness singing " Happy Happy Joy Joy!!" & doing my "Happy Dance".  Oh yes, I have a Happy Dance :-) 

& it is Oh so happy.

2) Never...NEVER try to out-argue God. It's just plain stupid. & in the end you will feel just plain stupid.

3) If you ever find yourself in a place where you figure out that what YOU want and what GOD wants for your life are two totally & completely different things, three words....GO WITH GOD!

Trust me on this one friends. Don't think about it, don't try and convince God that your ideas are better, & it doesn't matter how much you whine - He's not changing His mind. 

Just surrender & Go With GOD. (The sooner, the better!)

4) If you're not willing to listen to God voluntarily, you can rest assure that He will somehow, some way, most definitely get your attention about the matter.  Because it's true our Father God loves us just the way we are, but He loves us WAY to much to leave us that way!

My advice: Just listen.... Listen in silence, listen carefully,  & do it without delay. It'll save you a lot of time, heartache, and drama. 

Ooooh the drama!

5) Finally, I have learned that at times (probably more often than not) I can be stubborn.

(I know! I was just as shocked at this news as I know you are right now.)   

Not to mention, a bit impatient. 

But God's timing is always perfect. His plan is flawless. 

See God was trying to take me in one direction with my life, but I so badly wanted to go in a different direction. I thought that because what I was doing was for God, that it must certainly be the right way. And even though my intentions & motives were good, it still didn't mean that it was God's will for my life at this particular time. 

See, it's not always the case, that what we want to do is wrong, it's that the timing  is not right.

 I was so busy being consumed by Me. My feelings, what I thought, 

what I wanted, what I desired. So busy making excuses to try and justify my behavior. That I really wasn't seeing the bigger picture, cause my big head was in the way.

Finally He used a not so good situation to get my attention. The attention that He's been longing for me to give Him, for some time now, regarding a certain something in my life. 

I surrendered, listened, & am being obedient to His will not mine.  And already God is making ALL things work together for my good. 

So should it have taken a bad situation for God to finally get my undivided attention?? Absolutely, NO!

Shamefully I admit, He had to. But, in His unfailing love and Oh so amazing mercy, He saved me from myself once again, taught me several VALUABLE lessons. & has captured my heart yet again. 

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

Being Still

I found myself in a moment today, where I just sat & was quiet.

I was quiet & I just observed as the world around me kept moving. 

It was a little awkward at first. It's a little hard to explain, but I realized that I was supposed to be exactly where I was and just be still. 

I watched as my 4 yr old son climbed up in his daddy's lap on the riding mower with such an awesome look of excitement. I couldn't help but laugh as my little man lifted his hands up in the air and yelled "Go faster daddy!Go Faster!" as daddy accelerated as fast as the mower could go just to see his sons face light up & hear his laughter. 

I watched as my 14 yr old daughter sat on the front porch next to me with the wind blowing in her hair gently. 

I couldn't help but notice the cute way her eyes squint as she laughs. And how her eyes light up when she's trying to say something to quickly.  She glances up, smiles, and asks " Are you OK mom?" I giggle a little, cause I imagine she is wondering why I'm staring at her, and I just nod. 

Before I knew it, it was time to go pick up my little girl from school. 

As we drove down the road, I couldn't help but notice that I couldn't shake this "feeling" off, I can't explain it. I just continued to "be still". 

I guess it was only obvious to me, because everyone and everything around me just kept right on moving.

We pull into the school drive. And there she is. My baby girl. Running down the side walk, backpack flailing around her shoulder, Easter basket in hand from her party that day, smiling a crooked smile with one missing tooth, waving her free hand frantically. She's so happy to see me. She jumps into the car, anxious to tell me all about her great day, gives me a big hug and a kiss and says " Mommy I love you and I missed you today while I was at school" - I think my heart melted into goo. 

So back at home now. I had some great pics of my two men today as they mowed the lawn & pretended to be race car drivers together. As I was uploading, I began skimming through some of my photos & just reminiscing a little bit -  And that's right about when it hit me .....

"Be still and know that I am God"  -  

Oh Lord! Could it be that all day this was you?  

Father, it was YOU, speaking to ME? 

Through the joy in my husband & sons eyes and their laughter. Through the wind in my daughters hair and through her beauty. Through the loving touch and affection of my little girl. Through the warmth of the sun on my face and the wind that gently kissed my skin this morning. 

Father, this was you?? 

And as softly and gently as ever, I heard Him whisper, 
"Yes Melissa, it was Me." 

It was all that I could do not to fall on my face right where I was. Because at that moment it was like He stepped into the room, grabbed a hold of my heart and I felt Him wrap His arms around me and again I heard Him whisper

"It's always been Me. I just needed you to be still and be quiet long enough for Me to show You again"

Oh Father. My sweet Father God. Deserving I know I am most certainly not. But you look farther into me and beyond all of the mess that I, oh so often, tend to make of myself, and still lavish me with your amazing, beautiful, breath-taking, magnificent, love. 

Reminding me, once again, that I'm not alone. 

Reassuring me, once again, that in this life one thing IS for certain - and that is your undying, unrelenting, constant love for me. 

Making me feel, once again, that I am a special, beautiful, and adored work of art sculpted by Your hands. 

I was pursued. I was pursued and captured. I was captured  because I allowed myself to be caught. Caught up in the arms of my Father God. And I am OH SO GLAD that He did. 

"Be still child and know that I AM GOD"

SHhhhhh - Be quiet ...now open your eyes and you'll be sure to see all of the miraculous beauty the Father has so thoughtfully, intentionally, and lovingly surrounded you with...........................