Sometimes You Meet Beautiful Brave Souls

Let me tell you a secret, I enjoy a trip to a history or some historic battleship museum about as much as I love going on a shopping trip to Wal-mart on its busiest day with all three of my kids, when I need to restock on EVERYTHING, during a full moon.
I am unquestionably not a history enthusiast.

Now, don’t misunderstand. I don’t mean ALL history. I love art. Take me to an art museum and I’ll love you forever! Take me to any museum that has to do with the arts or MUSIC and we’ll be BFF’s 4/EVER!

My dear husband on the other hand, likes to visit historical sites. And by historic sites I mean old war sites, battleships, cemeteries… you get the picture. My hubby, a.k.a. Baby Daddy loves that kind of stuff. And because it’s in the marriage code- the one that came in the fine print- somewhere in between “to have and hold, sickness and health”, so on and so on, there is “you will periodically accompany, claim to enjoy, and show genuine interest in your significant others extracurricular activities”. For those of you who have been married as long as I have. 22 years this July to be exact, and are smart like me, should undoubtedly have that one down. If not, learn it. Learn it well. It will serve you well. *wink wink*

Ok, moving on.

So here we are, one year into living in sweet ol’ Alabama. The Heart of Dixie! A state brimming with history! From Civil war to Civil Rights Movement. It feels like every place you visit here has some sort of story that goes with it.

The destination that I’m trying to guide you to, is over in Montgomery. At the State Capitol Building. Baby Daddy was in the mood to take the family on a field trip and so through some silent reluctance on my part- (remember the marriage code)-off we went!

It was a Saturday, and to add to my excitement, they informed us they only did guided tours on Saturdays and ours would begin shortly. A few minutes later arrives the main character of my story, our tour guide, Mr. Aroine Irby.  A lively character. And a gentleman.

I’ve visited my fair share of museums and such, thanks to Baby Daddy and his curiosity for the historical, but none, I admit, have ever captured my attention nor my heartstrings, like this visit.

Our docent, Mr. Irby, led us back through history that day as he walked us through the halls and rooms of the old Capitol building. But little did I know that, that day we had met more than just a tour guide on some visit to a museum, and little did he know that he would remind my soul of something important, that I needed, on exactly this day.

Alabama is one of the southern states that has a history full with stories of slavery, segregation, racism, prejudice, violence and people who have fought and even died over the course of what seems like many lifetimes to break this malicious mindset.

That day, before our tour ended, Mr. Irby spoke of a time in history that held a very special meaning for him, to say the least. A movement in history that both its devastation and declaration was heard worldwide. You may have heard of the day they call “Bloody Sunday” March 7, 1965. Aroine Irby still remembers that violent day on the Edmund Pettus Bridge all to vividly because he was there as a young man of about 19 years old. And 2 weeks later from March 21^st- 25^th, 1965 Mr. Irby would join many others to walk the 54 miles from Selma to Montgomery, cross the same bridge, and reach the steps of the capital building, along with Dr. Martin Luther King and 25,000 people. Mr. Irby was there to witness it all. To say it was difficult, hard, or overwhelming, doesn’t begin to cover it. Mr. Irby shared with us, that to say he was scared is an understatement. He knew that day, on the day “Bloody Sunday” occurred, that there was a possibility he might die. But that he knew in his heart it was something he had and needed to do. He said a prayer and stood with the rest of his brothers and sisters on that violent day. He couldn’t recount much more, it was too hard and he said the details would be far too graphic. He said it’s because of these brave people that stood on both these days, the ones who died so brutally and senselessly, the ones who walked all the way to the steps of the capital, and the ones who stood up despite their fear and spoke out. That gave him the freedom to vote, that gave him the freedom to attend and graduate with a PhD from the University of Alabama, that also gave his two sons the freedom to graduate from law school and fulfill their dreams to become lawyers and that helped give us all the freedom to be standing there that day talking to him.

It was not only a declaration of hope to a people of one race but of all races, of all colors, of all nationalities.

Living in Alabama has taught me a lot in a little over a year. And one of those things, from the perspective of a Hispanic woman, is that we’ve made great strides when it comes to changing our views and removing obstacles where racial prejudice is concerned, HOWEVER, living here has also taught me that we sadly still have a LONG way to go. I’m not a stranger to racial slurs, or racial prejudice. Growing up as a kid I can remember a few times going home crying because some ignorant kid learned some dumb insults from some ignorant parent or older sibling. Or hearing indirect comments from adults or even teachers. Or even as a young adult I can remember a few occasions being confronted and having to defend myself from peoples ignorance. But my father instilled in me to be proud of who I am. To be proud of where I come from and never shy away or wish to be anything different. He taught me to stand up for myself but he also taught me when it's time to walk away and let the ignorant just be ignorant. Because honey, sometimes, you just can’t change stupid. All you can do is pray for them.

Sometimes you meet beautiful people with beautiful stories at exactly the perfect time. I am so happy that we met Aroine Irby. I’m so happy to have heard of his courage and triumphs in spite of his greatest fears. I guess this is one time Baby Daddy got it right!

God Bless America!

   If you're ever in Montgomery, AL. Visit the Capitol on a Saturday and talk to Mr. Aroine Irby!

The Bird House

When we moved here a year ago, my son and I set up a cute little birdhouse we purchased at a local antique shop. I mostly just put it up for decorative purposes, never really imagining any bird would ever make a nest in it. Back in Texas I always tried to have things like birdhouses and feeders and always failed miserably. I actually had two squirrels work as a team once and run away with my plastic bird feeder and I promise you they were laughing at me as they ran away.

But I swear to everyone that not only is the culture different here as far as people go, but as far as nature goes too. Although I really wish I could say the same for the people around here (and NO not EVERYONE, we’ve met some pretty amazing folks, but that’s a different post), nature is beautiful here. Breathtaking in a lot of parts.

It wasn’t until this spring that VOILA! We discovered a bird’s nest in the birdhouse! 5 tiny light blue eggs, which with some research we found we have an Eastern Bluebird Familia living in the birdhouse.

Of course, this little bluebird familia immediately captured my heart and I got emotionally attached/involved. Don’t judge me. I’ve been a bit of an emotional spaz lately.

I always watched from afar, while the eggs were still in the nest, the mama bird gathering materials and maintain her nest almost every day, keeping her eggs warm in the evenings with the warmth of her little body, I also noticed that when she wasn’t in the birdhouse she was never far away. She was always perched in a nearby tree where she could keep watch on her nest and her babies. When the babies finally hatched I watched as mama and papa bird, who was now allowed to be more present and on the scene every day, take turns bringing food to their young ones. Both would maintain the nest making sure it was nice and comfy for their babies, and I once again noticed that when mom and pops weren’t in the birdhouse with their young ones they were always close by. Perched in a tree most times where they were watching from a distance over their nest and babes.

It’s only been a couple of weeks and the nestlings probably have just a few short weeks until they begin to leave the nest. Which I am highly anticipating and I can’t even tell you how anxious I am about it! I want them all to have a successful take off into their new journey!

Over the last few weeks as I’ve watched all this life unfold in my backyard, I couldn’t help but compare to the timing of it all to some events that had been unfolding in my own life and how I’d felt about it all.

I’m not going to over spiritualize this, but having this little bluebird family take up residence in my backyard at this time couldn’t have been any more perfect. Watching the way God created and designed these beautiful little creatures to care for their young the way they do is quite an interesting thing to behold. I understand they’re still wild little things. But they’re just beautiful.

A storm rolled in 4 nights ago. A bad one. I’m already emotionally invested in my new feathered family at this point. The winds were terrible. Did I mention the birdhouse is a hanging birdhouse?

My nerves were on edge to say the least. It’s a sturdy birdhouse for sure. I did everything I could not to run outside and bring them inside. I knew I couldn’t do anything like that. Move the birdhouse or anything. I just had to leave it. I reminded myself that “birds lay their nests in trees all the time” and “there are horrible storms all the time” and “that’s just the way of nature”. I reminded myself that “in nature sometimes birds don’t survive” and that’s also “the way of nature”. And I had to “just leave nature alone”. So I did what I know how to do. I prayed. Yes, I sure did, I prayed for my bluebird family.

I needed them to be ok. “Not just for them Lord,but for me too” I know that’s so selfish, maybe. But I just needed them to be ok.

See, the things that had been unfolding in my life weren’t as pleasant as watching the life that was taking place in the birdhouse outside my bedroom window or taking a peek inside the birdhouse and seeing those tiny little baby birds. And every time I watched them, every time I saw mama bird perched on her tree so close by watching over her nest, or setting new grass and feathers down in the nest or bringing in food for her babies. I was reminded or better yet I felt reassured somehow, once again, that my Father God was near me. That He was never far away. That no matter what was unfolding around me, no matter what I felt like inside myself, no matter the overwhelming emotional spaz case I might feel that I am for the moment, He understood me, He loved me, He was never far away. That He cares for me.

I couldn’t help it and I went out just once, and snuck up and peeked in with my flashlight and there was mama bird covering her littles, head tucked down, protecting her nest.

That night, through the strong winds, the lightning, and the rain, the birdhouse got tossed from side to side so forcefully. Swinging against the pole it was hung on. Not once did she leave them.

Not once, does He ever leave me. Not once, will He ever stop Fathering me or covering me. Not once will He ever stop loving me.

Unfortunately, I believe it’s in our nature to worry. We were created as emotional beings. I don’t believe, however, we should allow worry to be nurtured into something toxic. Things like irrational fears, overwhelming anxieties, unmanageable stress, and sickness. I could go on and on because I’m all too familiar with all the above. It’s toxic city! And I think that’s what God wants us to learn. I believe that’s what He wants me to learn. It’s not easy for sure. But He tells me….

“Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature?” Matthew 6:26-27(NKJV)

I’ve been watching this and it’s true! I have the proof in my very own backyard!

And I’ve heard Him whisper, in the sunshine and in the storm. Using, of all things, a birdhouse and family of bluebirds, “Melissa, I hold you closer to my heart than you can ever imagine. I’m closer than the air you breathe. I carry you, I hold you. I walk with you, I uplift you. I laugh with you, I strengthen you. I listen to you, I love you. And when you need me to, I’ll reassure you, as many times as you need. I’m here. Always. Closer than you can even understand”

I don’t bother the birdhouse, I give them their space, but every now and then I do wait for my sweet mama to leave the nest and I go and check in on the sweet little babies. I’m happy to report that they are all still growing, and doing well!

And as for me. Well, I thank God that He never stops showing me wonderful new things every day.  

                                                                 The Bird House

My Happy Mothers Day!

 Let me start this out like every sentence I begin with when talking about my kids......
 "These are my babies. They're not quite babies anymore.  But they will ALWAYS be my babies!"

Ohhhh the joys of motherhood! You bring them into this world, you give them your heart and soul, sweat and tears, and all your money and they give you stretch marks, sleepless nights, and wrinkles- but we wouldn't want it any other way!

 I love these three kiddos to the moon and back! They make me lose my sanity and then in some cases they help me maintain my sanity.

And this Mother's Day I realized I am a mother of an "adult"! (20 years old! Yikes!)

 And I can't forget that once upon a time I was one of those stretch mark wrinkle causing kids!
This lady right here, The Matriarch, is a saint and I love her more than almond tea and pumpkin surprise! If you know me, that's A LOT!  I'm so glad we got to go home and visit this beautiful lady and my beautiful Sis!

                    It was a fabulous Mother's Day!

Father's Day

To My Dad: Happy Father's Day Dad. Even though this will be 23 Father's Day w/out you I still celebrate your memory and your legacy. Because of your love, dedication & commitment to the Lord & to your family, your passion and obedience to God, the way you led by example and not just word, is not only the reason I am who I am today, but strive to become the Godly woman I know I am yet to become. I am proof that when you teach a child in the truth they don't forget. Thank you Dad for pouring God's truth into my life thru your example and unconditional love and being a reflection of Jesus in my life. Words can't express what an honor and a privilege it is to be your daughter. And furthermore my heart cannot express to the Lord my gratitude for giving me the time I had with you on this earth. I hold on to the promise that one day I will see you standing with our Father and know that I made you both proud :) Thanks Dad, I love you, Happy Father's Day.



To My Hubby & Baby Daddy:
I thank you, not just today, but because every single day you do your very best to strive to be the best husband, father, & man that God has called you to be. Your strength and perseverance amaze me. Your love for your family warms my heart. Your desire to please God and be more like Him makes me fall in love with you over and over again. You have taught me to never give up, no matter how difficult circumstances may be, but to wait on the Lord and trust in Him. I love you beyond words. Thank you for giving me our three precious babies and sharing this crazy life with me! I thank God with every fiber in me for this wonderful amazing extraordinary gift of family!



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Testing 1..2..

Just testing the new blog app from my iphone to see how it works :-)




- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

"Sometimes God Doesn't Show You the Blueprint, Just the Next Step"

When "waiting on God" I have to fight the urge and tendency to get anxious and run up ahead of God and "help him out" like I, oh so often, am tempted to do when "waiting". I have learned, from experience, that although my intentions may not be bad, I must be patient and restrain myself from setting myself back by running up ahead and messing things up with what I think is best.

I'm a "planner". I like plans. I can pretty much already tell you what 2013 is going to look like for me (or what I want it to look like)....wait...see there I go again, with the running up ahead thing. Ok, so Im a work in progress. What I mean is, I think when it comes to "change" in our life, we'd all like some kind of explanation, road map, itinerary, or blueprint of what's going to happen, how it's going to happen, how long it's going to take, and what the end result is going to be. And on top, we want complete control and full say in all of the above. But see "Sometimes God Doesn't Show You the Blueprint, Just the Next Step" 

I'm learning that although I may not know the entire plan, I know that by being obedient, activating my faith & taking the next step God is asking me to/when He is asking me to, He is laying down a path for me, on His timing not mine, in a direction that He is leading me in, and He will never lead me wrong. I also know that within this path He is laying down for me, is what He is calling me to do for Him and the person He is molding me to become for Him. In my case, not just for me, but for my family. 

So, no, He may not give me the blueprint to His entire plan for my life. He may not explain to me all at once what the "change" in my life is all about. He may not give me a handy "How-To Manual" with all the directions I need for the rest of my life....He may show me One. Step. at a time. And that's OK. Because I know that with each step He asks me take He will give me what I need to get there. With each step that I take He will open another door for me to walk through. And with each step that He reveals He will be holding my hand the entire journey He sets before me.
So this is me, butterflies in my stomach, nervous but excited, anxious but I wont run up ahead, ready to leap but careful, as I hear Him say
 "Ready....Set.... Take my hand...Let's Go"

Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart
    and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him,
    and he will make your paths straight."

Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future"

Child of God

So it's taken me about 2 weeks to blog about this cause every time I think about it I begin a sob fest. 

A little over 2 weeks ago my 16 yr old, Rachel, left to Arizona on what I knew in my heart would be a life changing trip for her. Not only because it's something she's never really done or experienced, but because God's already been whispering to this mama's heart not to get to attached, because she belongs to Him and the plans He has for her are far far greater than I could have ever dreamed for her. 

For some time now, I've seen God's hand working in her life. She has a heart for missions. She has a heart for the lost and hurting. It's more than that. She's passionate about it. She wants the world to know that Jesus loves them. Especially kids. 

Before she left. I was talking to a friend who asked if I was ready to see her off for a week. My answer was "No. No, because I know this is going to change her for good. This is it. This is going to seal the deal and confirm everything that her heart has been feeling."

And sure enough...... It did....... and so much more.

She went and God opened her eyes to see the lost through his eyes. He opened her heart to love them with His heart. He used her hands to be His hands in a hurting world. He used her arms to be His arms and embrace and love on those He so dearly loves. 

He pierced into her heart and her world and brought a new light to things He wanted her to see and only He could show her. He transformed her in ways only He could do. And now she'll never be the same.

This has been really tough. I love the Lord with all my heart, soul and everything that is in me. I trust Him and am learning every day to trust Him more and more. But I have to admit, this is different. He is not only asking me to trust in Him with MY life, which up until now I did which, yes, included my kids and all of me. But it's different. He is asking me to LET GO of what all this time I thought of as "mine", and put her in His hands and just let go and trust Him with HER life. 

"She's only 16. Why would you ask me to do this now God? I mean I knew the time would come, but...I shouldn't be feeling like this til she's ready to go off to college or get married or move out....... Not now"        I have asked the Lord this more than once. 

And then came the answer: "I'm preparing you & teaching you, while I prepare her and teach her"

I have felt this for quite some time now. Much longer than I like to admit. And I also don't like to admit that at first I didn't listen. I didn't like it. I refused. 

And God in His very so compassionate, loving, and patient way, nudged me, woke me at night, and tugged at my heart strings until I finally broke. And when I broke, He held me. He explained to me that all these years she's been "mine" because He gave her to me. To help her, to guide her, to teach her, to discipline her, to love her, to hold her, to pick her up, but most of all to be Jesus in her life and teach her that she is a child of God. 

But that she belongs to Him. Just as I do. That He created her for Him. She is His precious child. I was just given the most wonderful privilege of being her mother. And I always will be her mom and her my baby girl. But she belongs to Him. And He loves her more passionately, more fiercely, more intensely, and more wildly than I could ever love. When I heard this, I knew, that His love had to be some wildly amazing and awesome supernatural love, because I never imagined anyone could love my babies more than I could.

So little by little ...sometimes hesitant, sometimes reluctantly... I have been learning to truly trust God. I have come to the place where I stand at His hands and I've placed her in them very gently, very carefully. And He is still allowing me to walk beside them and hold her hand and guide her as He holds my heart.. Until

the one day, I know I will have to let go. I will have to let go and trust and know that my Father is carrying her in His hands and she belongs to Him. Until the one day, where she won't rely on me as guide but rely completely on Him and learn to trust in Him just as I have had to. 

I will always be mom and she will always be "mine". But she belongs to Him. And I have learned to accept that. I know, that although hard, I can do it. Because I know how He loves me. I know how He's carried me. I know how He would move all of heaven and earth to rescue me. I know that I am His and He is Mine. And I know who is carrying her. The same one who carries my heart.