Ready...Set....... Let Go!

Another First for my list……

Yesterday was the first day of school.

Any other school year this would have been a normal thing for me (and no not my first, just wait for it)........

Summer vacation & then back to school. 

But this year was different. At the start of this school year, my 15 yr old daughter wasn’t just beginning her 1^st yr of High school, 

and my 9 yr old her first day of 4^th grade,

but this school year marked a BIG first for me.

My 6 yr old son, my baby, my last child, was starting his very first day of school EVER! 

See with my girls it was different. It IS different. When they started school, yes it was bitter sweet and yes I got emotional, but not like this. I'm not sure why or what it is. I'm still learning. But there is a huge difference between daughters and sons. And to top it off he's the last one...he's my baby. 

So this was extremely devastating for me for several reasons.

1)   Hello this is my BABY!

2)   Was he ready?!

3)   Was I ready?!

4)   This meant everything was changing!

5)   Hello this is my BABY!! (ok I know I said that already)

My son, my tiny baby boy who has been at home with his mommy since birth was now ready to leave and become a tiny man.

All summer I had to mentally and emotionally prepare for it.

And the whole week before that dreaded first day of school my stomach was in knots.

Questions swarming my mind like….”What if he gets some meany of a teacher?”, “What if he doesn’t like it?”, “What if he gets scared?”, 

OR OMG “What if he DOES like it and grows up and realizes he doesn’t need me anymore?!?!?!” GASP!!

For all the moms out there I know you are nodding your heads in agreement.

This was a HUGE first for me! It was a bitter-sweet moment and a huge step in both mine and my little mans life.

I knew there was no way around it. My husband forbid me to even think of homeschooling him. Something about him being a boy and this would be good for him…blah blah blah … I tuned out after that.

I knew in my heart that no matter how badly I just wanted to keep him at home with me, only like FOREVER, that wasn’t an option.

He, like his older siblings, was growing up, and there’s nothing I could do to stop it!

So, like a good mommy, I put on my brave face and let my son know that everything was going to be great.

And that first day came quickly.

                                    (My Little Man. I'm so proud of him!)

Yesterday me and his daddy walked our little man to class.

Where, of course, he has one of the best teachers ever.

He was just a little nervous, but excited at the same time. He smiled when we got to his class. We hugged him and told him we’d be back real soon and he was OK. … He was actually more than just OK. He did GREAT.

My little man.

Of course, mommy….well she was a different story.

As soon as we got in the truck, mommy lost her brave face and lost it.

I cried. I cried and wailed about how my little baby was gone…. 

How everything from that moment would be different, because he wouldn’t need me anymore, and that I didn’t care how big any of my kids got they would always be my babies…. Oh it was a terribly sight!! I was a blubbering fool.

And my husband, like the good hubby he is… he just listened. He listened to my cry baby, snotty, wailing and held my hand. And when I was finally done, he wiped my tears and tried to find something good to say, but it went something like this "You know they have to grow up & now its kindergarten, one day it'll be high school and then they'll be gone" When he saw the tears and snot again he stopped...QUICKLY and instead offered we go for a walk to clear our heads. ... I love him, he tries :-) Hey! He took the whole week off, just cause he knew I would be a hot mess if I had to do this alone! That's love baby! ... Oh Ok, back to my point ....

All day I looked at the clock. Counting down the hours til 3:00 where I would rush to the school and scoop up my baby and console him if he was scared and apologize for leaving him there and promise to never take him back to that awful place ever again!!

But what really happened was, we did rush to pick him up cause I couldn’t wait to see my little man.

He jumped in the truck with the biggest smile on his face and couldn’t catch his breath long enough between sentences to tell me what an awesome day he had at school! And couldn’t wait to GO BACK!! And what’s worse….. OMG it’s hard to even think about this!.... What’s worse…. He said… My baby boy….. “ You know what mommy, I had such a good day, I didn’t even think about you once” !!!! .... *Sigh*

I know, I know... I need to look at that as a good thing... Ugh!

So there you have it. I'm learning to let go and let my babies begin their different seasons on this journey called LIFE. 

My 15 yr old daughter who has already begun.....

My 9 yr old (who I sometimes think is secretly 30!) who is beginning...

And then my 6 yr old little man who has only just begun.....

 Ready...Set.... LET GO........ 

Hello Hello........

Well hello again!.....
I have finally returned with a couple of "Firsts" for you!
Bout time! I know!

I will be brief, because I am typing this post from my iPhone!
Yup! That's a first for me! Lol

If you know me, you know I'm not the most well organized person.
Okay, I fail miserably in the organization department.
But, for those that know me, also know that when I do take on a task
I take that baby on and do my best to get it done and done right!
Which brings to my first "First"
I organized and saw through to the grueling end, my first big concert!
A big spanish christian band came to our church last Wednesday.
I didn't realize how popular they actually were. But the almost 800 people
who attended that night proved otherwise!
The is the first event like this I have ever taken on to plan and coordinate.
It was tiring, frustrating, & involved ALOT of details!
And did I mention I did it in LESS than 4 weeks!
Although it turned out to be quite a task, from contracts,to making hotel reservations to
Posters & advertising to organizing lists and lists of technical & production issues, to organizing teams of security and parking and sales tables and ushers to transportation and....
Oh my! Sorry I said I'd keep this brief!!
Well I have to say that the night of the concert went amazingly well!!
Everyone working together and everything running like clockwork!
And to see almost 800 people having a great time and being blessed by,what turned out to be not only a talented band but a great group of people who allow themselves to be used by the Lord in a great way! Well it made every bit of the hard work more than worth it!!
I have to admit that I enjoyed the challenge. I may have grunted and pounded my fist a few times, but I enjoyed it ;-) & I think, secretly, look forward to doing it again! :-O

And P.S. There is no way that any of it would have worked or come together without the greatest people who stepped to VOLUNTEER! Thats the people from Primera Asamblea De Dios Lufkin Texas!! God Bless them richly!!

Oh no its Wednesday!

So it's Wednesday already! 
This week has gone by so incredibly fast for me!
I know I was going to start my "New Things" post, but I haven't slowed down enough to even try old things.
After this week things should, I hope and cross my fingers, slow down a bit more so that I can actually begin to not only begin to try my "New Things" but actually enjoy doing it!!
Soooo with that said, I'm open to any suggestions or ideas on what new, incredible, & perhaps tasty, new things I could try! :)

Kids and Old Folks = Trouble, Lots of Trouble!!

So I last left off with my ranting about feeling "lost".
Well what's worse, you ask, then already feeling like a crazy women who is getting old and losing herself???
Sitting in a doctors office with about 20something 80 year olds!
And NO I'm not exaggerating! (This time)

I had to take my mother, oh my sweet dear mother, to an eye doctor appointment. Accompanying us were my 15, 8, & 5 yr old children. 

So let's recap so far... 
An overcrowded Doctors office full of at LEAST 25 80 something yr old people, Me, and my 3 kids.
This made for an interesting 4 hours. Yes, FOUR HOURS! 

At one point my 5 yr old son and one of these 80something yr old ladies, who was obviously perturbed that I would even think of bringing my kids, were caught in a stare down.

So between telling my 8 yr old daughter to stop staring at the older ladies wig, that was very obviously on backwards or maybe sideways and that no she couldn't tell the lady or fix it for her, and Yes I promise I will never wear pantyhose with sandals.
And repetitively asking my son to quit making farting noises behind the older man we were sitting behind because I really think the poor man thought it was himself and was getting upset and wondering why my son would hold his nose and giggle at him.
And let's not forget my 15 yr old daughter who's loud sighing and the need to constantly remind me of all the old, grumpy, and sometimes not so pleasantly smelling people we were surrounded by were sorda creepin her out.
We managed to survive!

What did I learn from this experience.....
1.) It definitely confirmed my fears of getting old!!

2.) If I'm ever wearing a crooked wig, smell funny, or am making funny noises, I can always count on my kids to point it out........In Public! :)


P.S. Stay tuned for my "New Things" Posts :)








 

Went To Look For Myself, Be Back Soon!

Have you ever felt just not "yourself"? 
Like somewhere waaay back on life's busy road you forgot about yourself and left "You" somewhere and can't remember exactly where or when that was?
I'm pretty sure I read somewhere that this is pretty common for busy women (and I'm sure men as well)
But I don't like it :(
I don't like this feeling of being "Lost". 

I have racked my brain over and over trying so hard to figure out when it was and where exactly I stepped off the train and left myself! If I could just get past all the clutter that has accumulated in my brain and try not to get crushed by the traffic jam of thoughts buzzing in my head 24/7, then maybe I could figure it out, but just thinking of  doing that is taking so much energy out of me! And trust me, right now I'm doing everything I can to conserve what little energy(and patience) I have left!

Did I mention how much I hate this feeling?? 
I hate not being sure of who I am. That's just not me!
I mean, I'm a mom, I'm a wife, I'm a caretaker, I work, I take care of our home...I'm definitely lots of things. Important things. 
But it dawned on me the last couple of days "where am I"???
Not mom, wife, caretaker, worker, home manager, but ME? 

And don't get me wrong. I wouldn't trade being a mom, or wife, or any of those jobs for anything in the world!...... But I also don't want to lose "Me". 
The fun me, the girl that laughs at the silliest things, the sensitive me who loves even the cheesiest, soppiest, romantic movies and will cry buckets. The carefree me who will dance a silly dance and sing at the top of her lungs no matter who's listening or looking, or take a crazy dare and do something she's never done, and try something new everyday.................

* Sigh * Maybe I'm being silly. Maybe I'm getting old and this is just what happens when you get old. You go through youth withdrawals or something. I have no idea.
I just know that I need to find "Me" again, cause I really miss "Me" and I'm sure wherever "Me" is she is really missing me too. That or my "Me" is just being silly and got bored and decided she needed to be "Me" somewhere else and have fun without me! And if that's the case when I do find my "Me" she's in big trouble! ;)

Sooo these are the rants of an aging crazy lady who is in desperate need to find herself and have a little fun and maybe get into a little something! ;)

I like the idea of trying something new everyday. And I think I just may do that. I think that will be the beginning of my journey on finding "Me" :) There you go! That's exactly what I'll do then :) 

Lazy Hazy Crazy Daze of Summer :)

I just love summer time!
I'm not really quite sure what it is. Maybe it's the sunshine. Or the fact that I have a reason to shave my legs and wear shorts, tank tops and flip flops. 
Maybe it's that I can float around in the pool and see how tan I can get by the end of summer ;)  
Ok so I know it's been about 120 degrees lately, but it just doesn't bother me. I love summer and everything about it.
So anyway, here are some things I have gotten to do so far already this summer. 

 I golfed for the first time!

And, let's see, how can I put this..... Girls with big, uhm, large, ... uhhh, ...Girls who are blessed up top! Shouldn't take up golfing! 
But despite the fact that I had to work around the "twin towers" to hit the ball, it was fun!











   Went To Galveston Beach For FIRST TIME!

Yes, Yes it's sad, but true! I have never been to the beach. This was my first trip to the beach with some girlfriends. And I must admit, it was everything I expected and more. I could live on the beach!

 This is me, on the beach. You can't see my face, but trust me, there's a look of pure excitement on it. 
And yes, that is my friends behind on the left and her two little feet. I almost cropped it, but then thought...NAH.
I was like a little kid ;)

And over to the left of your screen is what we liked to call our sand turd. 
Yes, I know, what a gross name. 
I tried to think of a better name but turd just kept coming back up again and again.














I'm not sure who that lady is waving at us. Maybe she thought I was taking her pic? 
Dunno. But here you have my FIRST trip to the beach!










Took this pic on Fathers Day. 
I know this really doesn't count as something I actually did, but it was a first, and I was a part of it, and it's my blog so I can put it just cause! ;)
This is my handsome hubby and beautiful daughters first Father/Daughter Fathers Day outting. 






Here's another first. I've been a bride, but never a bridesmaid! 
This is me getting dolled up for my best friends wedding! I was the Matron of Honor, thank you very much ;)

I can't believe that I did this hairdo on my own. And it stayed the WHOLE day! Thanks to an excellent lesson in curls 101 by my girl Kelly and an entire can of Pantene Extra Hold Humidity Control Hair Spray!! 

And to the right, my gown :)














                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Me being me :-p    

And Us Being US!

So there you have it. This summer has been great so far.
I wish it were summer all year long :) (I think in about 10 more years it just may!) 

Still have about 6 more weeks of summer vacation left.
Let's see what we can get into! ;) Happy Summer Ya'll!

The Adventure Has Just Begun

About 27 yrs ago... OMG! 27 Yrs! ... whoa! Ok.....
I meet this little brown haired girl in kindergarten, then realize she lives right across the street from me! It was history from there.....
From playing house, a crazy obsession with New Kids On the Block (what girl didn't and girls my age still do!) 
Teen magazine (I rocked the Kirk Cameron poster! Whoa baby!) 
Staying up all night talking about boys, TO boys, crying over boys and planning what different ways we could pay back the jerks that hurt us, Listening to "Please Don't Cry" & "November Rain" & "Sweet Child O Mine" by G N' R (Oh that Axl Rose!)  
Oh and don't forget the hairspray for the big bangs! I bought Aquanet by bulk!.....
Wow okay! 
She went from being my good friend, to my best friend, to more of a sister. If there was anyone I could trust, it was her. If there were anyone I knew would understand, it was her. 
I will always cherish the memories we made. 
From almost having our blood drained by bats (Ok I MIGHT be exaggerating just a little on that) , 
to our short lived attempt at running away and conquering the world, 
to our great "Adventures". I won't go into details about those, but boy do we still laugh til our sides hurt about those adventures!! :)

Yesterday my sweet dear friend looked like a princess walking down that aisle as she began the greatest adventure yet. 
The adventure of a lifetime with her best friend (No not me!) , and after yesterday, her husband :) 
To see her smiling, laughing, so happy, meant so much to me. Because this girl, this sweet lady, she deserves it and more. 
So I want to say Congratulations Jason and Veronica on your new journey together. I pray the Lord bless you with lots of love, joy, laughter, hope, peace and blessings!
Hold on tight cause the adventure has just begun! 



P.S. 
Oh and Jason, this doesn't mean you get to hog all the adventures Okay??? Save me a few!! ;) 


Love you both!
Melissa